my breast cancer reader
my body remembers at this time of year & I'm taking October off
Since 2020, I have chosen to spend October’s mostly offline. All of the breast cancer awareness content and conversations are a bit triggering. Not because I don’t believe in the importance of awareness or teaching people how to do self-breast exams or in the power of sharing breast cancer experiences, but because I find (or at least have found in the past) that the corporate pink ribbon machine pisses me off. I have been upset by brands breast cancer awareness campaigns that don’t actually include breast cancer patients or survivors. I have been pissed off by what people who are not patients or survivors or caregivers say in their breast cancer awareness content. And so I decided that to protect my peace, during October’s, I will be offline.
I live with an ever present awareness of breast cancer. I do not need to be reminded of it.
But, one thing I do in this space is write about my experience of and relationship to breast cancer and that writing is important because it helps me process my experience, allows other breast cancer patients and survivors to be seen and reflect on their experience of/relationship to breast cancer, and increases awareness for those who are not patients, survivors, or caregivers.
I want more breast cancer awareness material from breast cancer patients, survivors, and caregivers.
So while I will not be online in October (which means I won’t be on social media or publishing in this space), as someone who for better or worse fits the bill of who I want to hear from in October, of who I believe should be centered in October, as a breast cancer survivor I thought it important to collate my writing on the subject here for anyone interested.
The links move from most to least recent.
As always, check your tits and center patients, survivors, and caregivers. Breast cancer is a disease that impacts real people who can and do speak about their own experiences. Let’s all remember to lift them up first and foremost this month.
My remission anniversary (4 years!!!) is October 28th, so I might have something to share here on October 30th (always sticking to that Wednesday publishing date), but if not, I’ll be back in November.
more soon,
Gabrielle
My Breast Cancer Reader
FINDINGS
I am having chest pain. Rather, I am having breast pain. Only on the left side, always on the left side. I would call it phantom, but it actually hurts. This is not a figment of my imagination; this is a reminder. A reminder that my body does keep score and no matter how …
Some Space In-Between
In this edition of Notes From A Trip To, there is writing about the space I find myself in as I get further from diagnosis and treatment, an invitation to a June LIVE Session of my Applications for Artist Class (I opened one up due to unanticipated demand), an invitation to book me to facilitate a pottery workshop for any communities you’re a part of, and the usual citations/footnotes because I love them. In two weeks I’ll be sharing some herbal supports for relief from seasonal allergies.
Notes, Questions, and Recollections from the Chemo Bay
I drove myself to my first chemo appointment. These were peak COVID days so no guests were allowed in or out of the cancer center. Oncology department patients only, of which I was one.
Products I Switched To When I Got Cancer
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, my cancer diagnosis brought me into deeper levels of self-knowledge, deeper levels of communion with my ancestors, deeper levels of right relationship with the land, with w…
all the ways my body is different after cancer
I catch viruses that spread through contact with others more easily. I am apparently not immunocompromised anymore, but it feels like I am. Something in the very fibers of my immune system feels different—despite my constant attempts to bolster, attend to, improve it. I may perpetually wear a mask. I’m not sure I can afford …
Notes From A Trip To Past/Present 017
My tumor was a Stage 1, Grade 2, T2N0, estrogen and progesterone positive, HER-2 negative invasive ductile carcinoma. It was about 2.2 centimeters long so not very small, but not large either. My tumor, like my life had found itself in the middle. Chemo was recommended because of something called an Oncotype DX score. After surgery, my oncologist had my tumor shipped to California where tests were run on its biology—pathways, proteins, activations, genes, and more. In the old days, my tumor would have been intermediate risk. But updated data in 2019 meant that I was not at an intermediate level of risk, the level of risk was high.
Notes From A Trip To Past/Present 011
I am currently on an Artist Residency, writing, thinking, and working toward one of my current works in progress. This WIP is a memoir. Each day that I am here, on the residency, I will send you a note. They will reach you at all hours of the day and night. I do not promise that they will be long, coherent, adhere to any one form, or make sense at all. You are welcome to ask about what is shared—though I do not promise to answer or make any meaning for you. This space is after all a documentation of my creative practice—no more, no less.
Notes From A Trip To Past/Present 010
I am currently on an Artist Residency, writing, thinking, and working toward one of my current works in progress. This WIP is a memoir. Each day that I am here, on the residency, I will send you a note. They will reach you at all hours of the day and night. I do not promise that they will be long, coherent, adhere to any one form, or make sense at all. …
Deeply felt. Hope you can recenter and find ease during your time away 🫶🏾